Every gift I received for Christmas set me up for a very disciplined new year.
I slouch. A lot. Especially when I am at my desk. It’s a problem I’ve wanted to eradicate for a long time. Husband to the rescue! He’s the best when it comes to buying me gifts that I want but would never purchase for myself. When I opened the small, jewelry shaped box under our tree, there sat a Bluetooth, posture tracking device. You place it on your back, and every time you slouch, it buzzes and reminds you to sit up straight. It sounds annoying, but I love it. I need that buzz to keep me from looking like Yoda in 50 years.
I also received a Bluetooth toothbrush. Try to say that five times fast. It coaches me every morning and night as I brush my teeth and lets me know if I’m missing any areas. I was shocked at how terrible I was at brushing my teeth. The first time it graded me I got a score of 56%. Ouch. But you’ll be happy to know, after just five days of coaching I’ve improved to 82%.
My stocking was nice and full thanks to a new water bottle with a timeline printed right on it that helps me track my hydration during the day. I know how much water I should have consumed every hour from 8 am – 5 pm. Twice as many potty breaks for me, but hey, it’s working! I’m consistently drinking water throughout the day instead of getting to the end of the evening and realizing I have way too much water to chug before bed.
If that wasn’t enough discipline, I ended up spending all of my Christmas cash to join a Barre 3 Workout Studio to challenge my body in a new way. I thrive on disciplines like these because I love measurable goals, accountability and improving my health. However, brushing up on my teeth brushing skills and joining a Barre 3 studio aren’t the kind of disciplines that matter heading into a new year.
As excited as I am about a new year and being the best me I can be, I can hear the Holy Spirit asking, “What do you have in mind when it comes to spiritual disciplines? What measurable goals are you setting? How will you keep yourself accountable? And how can you improve your spiritual health?”
As I pondered those questions, he showed me I already had the blueprint: The gifts under the tree I received to improve physically tied right into the areas I need to improve in spiritually.
1 Corinthians 16:13 Listen, stay alert, stand tall in the faith, be courageous, and be strong. (VOICE)
I yearn to stand tall in faith. My heart is filled with God-given dreams and desires along with promises he’s given me to back up each and everyone, but I know if I am not mindful I’ll start to slouch. Life is busy, and distractions loom in every corner of my mind making it easy for my posture to gradually go from standing tall in faith to hunching over in apathy. I don’t want this fresh fervor to see God’s will come to pass in 2019 to dissipate by spring, so I have written down what he’s revealed about his plans for me, my family, and our church in 2019 along with correlating scriptures. I’ve placed post-it note versions of his heart for me in places where I’ll see them often. My car, my planner, my bathroom mirror, my phone, and as bookmarks in my Bible. Just like I need my posture tracking device to buzz and remind me to stop slouching, I need those post-its to send a signal to me and remind me to stand tall in faith. When no one is watching, when everyone is watching, on the days when I feel like it, and on the days when I don’t. When I’m tired of standing tall and super uncomfortable- no matter what, I will stay alert and stand tall. I trust that as I put this spiritual discipline in place, I will see God go above and beyond all I can ask, think, or imagine.
I’ve been brushing my teeth all by myself for at least 28 years. Which means I’ve brushed my teeth close to 20,440 times and yet after all my experience I am still greatly benefiting from my Colgate Coach. That little app has taught me that just because I think I’m an expert at something doesn’t mean it’s true. The amount of improvement needed was a little embarrassing, but I know you’d agree- I would be a fool to have my Colgate Coach point out areas of my mouth that I’m missing and do nothing about it. What a waste. What’s the point of having a coach if you’re not going to take their advice?
This year, I want to lean into THE Coach like never before. I want to give him permission to show me when my heart is wrong, my motives aren’t pure, or my attitude needs adjusting. I don’t want to depend on him to lead me into fun and exciting things only, I want him to search my heart and show me if anything is displeasing to him.
Psalm 139:23-24 God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—the path that brings me back to you. (TPT)
Just as I discipline myself to brush my teeth every morning and night, I will put a spiritual discipline in place by asking God to show me where I’ve missed it every morning and night. I’ll do this while I am brushing my teeth, because the Holy Spirit can talk to us anywhere, as long as we’re asking the right questions and desiring to hear his voice!
You would think that someone who understands how important water is would make it a priority to drink it. But, couple a busy lifestyle with the fact that I am rarely thirsty, and somehow my knowledge of how critical water is to the human body vanishes. I am hoping my new hydration tracking bottle will help me be more mindful of my need for water and my need for Jesus.
John 7:37-38 Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. (NIV)
This year I want to stay thirsty. I don’t want my busy lifestyle to drown out Jesus saying in a LOUD voice, “come to me and drink.” I want to continually, consistently, throughout the day, sit at the feet of Jesus. I know how crucial it is to my spiritual well-being. I don’t want my 30-minute quiet time every morning to be all she wrote. I want those rivers of living water flowing from within me. Each time I pick up my water bottle to hydrate my body, I will take a moment to tell Jesus, like David did, “my soul thirsts for you.”
Psalm 63:1 I thirst with the deepest longings to love you more, with cravings in my heart that can’t be described. Such yearning grips my soul for you, my God! (TPT)
Instead of consistently drinking from rivers that don’t refresh like Instagram or Netflix, I have measurable goals right there on my actual water bottle that will help me with this spiritual discipline of thirsting for and drinking in Jesus.
I start every day with exercise. I genuinely enjoy it. If I don’t exercise, I have a hard time getting going for the rest of the day. Endorphins are real! I’ve been exercising since high school, and I’ve been a member of a streaming workout community for the last seven years. I love my workout community, but I’ve been desiring a new challenge- something I could add on to what I am already doing. Enter Barre 3. I participated in a free, trial class and I was hooked. I didn’t think I would be able to finish the hour-long class after only ten minutes in. It was intense, but I loved pushing my fitness ceiling further. I was sore in places I have never been sore in- which means I was working muscles I have been neglecting to work. The once a week class is going to be the perfect challenging addition to my weekly routine.
Every morning after I exercise, I have my quiet time with the Lord. I genuinely enjoy it. I love reading my Bible, studying, seeking God, and worshipping. BUT I am desiring a new challenge- something I can add on to what I am already doing. I want to push my spiritual fitness ceiling further. I’ve never truly understood fasting until this year, and that’s what I feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to adopt. Just as I am adding one workout class a week to my workout routine, I am going to add one day of fasting a week to my spiritual routine. Fasting is expected of New Testament believers, and it’s something I have been limiting to just one month out of the year. I’m looking forward to a year of greater connection with God.
My prayer for you this year ladies is that 2019 would be your most spiritually fit year to date! May you take this devotional to heart and find more of God than ever before as you live a disciplined life in HIM.
1 Timothy 4:7-9 Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. You can count on this. Take it to heart. (MSG)
For small group questions to go along with this devotional, click below.
If you grew up eating animal crackers and drinking fruit juice at Sunday School, there’s a good chance you’ll recognize this classic song:
“Father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had Father Abraham. I am one of them, and so are you, so let’s all praise the Lord. Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot, nod your head, turn around, sit down!”
By that last verse, you’ve pretty much done a 15-minute HIIT workout, but what’s this song even about?
Galatians 3:6-7 says, “You remember Abraham. Scripture tells us, ‘Abraham believed God and trusted in His promises, so God counted it to his favor as righteousness.’ Know this: people who trust in God are the true sons and daughters of Abraham.“
So, Father Abraham is not just a silly song that gets preschoolers to expound vast amounts of energy; it’s scriptural. We are sons and daughters of Abraham, but notice, it’s not our DNA that proves we are true sons and daughters of Abraham, it’s our belief. It’s us trusting that we are made right with God by grace through faith, fully buying into the fact that we can’t work our way to righteousness. Abraham was the first to walk this out, so naturally, he’s referred to as the father of our faith.
The grace message was a hard pill for the law-loving legalists of Jesus’s day to swallow. They wanted to be made right by keeping the law, and they desired to relate as sons of Abraham based on their genetics–their bloodline. So, they went around proudly singing, Father Abraham had many sons, and I am one of them, but it seems as if they forgot that Abraham had two sons.
Ishmael and Isaac.
And that leads me to a question that the Holy Spirit has asked me several times over the past 21 days: Who is your momma?
God promised that Abraham and Sarah, who were childless and beyond their child-bearing years, would give birth to a son. But instead of patiently waiting to see the promise fulfilled, they took matters into their own hands. They decided to do things their way instead of God’s way. They stepped out of God’s will, and Sarah had Abraham sleep with her servant Hagar. Sarah’s faith was in Hagar’s ability to conceive and bear children, instead of in the promise God gave her. Of course, Hagar became pregnant and Ishmael, Abraham’s firstborn son, took his first breath nine months later.
From the moment Hagar saw the two pink lines on her First Response test, trouble ensued. I can’t imagine the drama in that household. Hagar thought she was better than Sarah. Sarah was abusive toward Hagar. And Abraham was caught in the middle of it all.
Thirteen years later God tells Abraham that Sarah is going to have a baby, and THIS baby, not Ishmael, will be the son of promise. The son born of Sarah would be the one through which God established His covenant, and a year later Sarah gave birth to Isaac.
Father Abraham now had two sons who were 14 years apart. And just as there was conflict between Hagar and Sarah, there was conflict between Ishmael and Isaac. In Genesis 21 Abraham threw a big party to celebrate Isaac being weaned, and during the festivities, Ishmael began to mock his baby brother. Sarah catches wind of this and here’s what happens next:
Genesis 21:10-12 So she [Sarah] turned to Abraham and demanded, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won’t have it!” This upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son. But God told Abraham, “Do not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you, for Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.
As a mother, my heart hurt for Ishmael when I read this. It seemed so ruthless of Sarah and Abraham, and it didn’t seem to line up with the character of God. How could they just send this single mother and her teenage son out into the wilderness? I mean I get it, mama bear comes out when someone messes with your baby, but this punishment seemed too harsh.
I wasn’t able to move past it even though I knew if I studied it out I would fall behind on my Bible reading plan. My heart wasn’t satisfied with the mama bear excuse, so I started to dig, and God began to unpack truths that I know I’ll never forget. I hope you’ll stick with me a little while longer so He can do the same for you.
Galatians 4 is where I found all the answers my heart was hungry for. In verses 21-31 Paul contrasts Abraham’s two sons.
Ishmael was born of a slave in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. Isaac was born of a free woman and was God’s own fulfillment of His promise. Isaac was conceived by grace through faith. Ishmael was conceived according to the flesh.
Ishmael represents legalism and our human attempts to attain righteousness. Isaac represents the gospel, the good news that Jesus made a way for you and me to experience the miracle of salvation.
When I began to see that Ishmael embodied our flesh, our unbelief, and us putting our will before God’s will, sending him packing didn’t seem so harsh anymore. My heart no longer went out to him.
You see, spirit and flesh, unbelief and faith, human effort and the miraculous, law and grace, they just don’t mesh. They can’t abide together peacefully and in the same ruthless way that Ishmael was sent away, we must send away our flesh, our unbelief, and our endeavor to complete our Christian duty checklists to get on God’s good side.
Friends, we are sons and daughters of promise and we’ve got to stop feeling for our flesh!
Galatians 4:31 So then, believers, we [who are born again—reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose] are not children of a slave woman [the natural], but of the free woman [the supernatural].
We are free! We have been given supernatural power over sin. We have authority over our mind, will, and emotions. We are the sons and daughters to which God has left a rich inheritance, and it’s time we start living in it! It’s time to be ruthless with our old man, our sinful nature, in the same way Sarah was ruthless with Ishmael.
This is the time of year when most Christians are wrapping up a fast of some sort. Maybe you’ve been fasting social media, coffee, bread, complaining, sugar, frivolous spending, or secular music. You’ve denied your flesh. And perhaps you’re like me, and you’d admit that a few times during your fast you felt sorry for yourself in the same way that I felt sorry for Ishmael at first glance. Maybe in those moments of sympathizing with your flesh you even gave in and snuck a Starbucks on a super stressful day, only then to feel guilty for the next 24 hours. We’ve all been there. Or maybe you’ve been perfect on your fast, but you can’t wait for it to be over so you can get back to giving your flesh whatever it wants whenever it wants it. That’s not the kind of freedom God’s called us to walk in.
We’re the sons and daughters born into freedom not so we can cave to our sinful desires, but so that we use our authority to send those sinful desires heartlessly into the wilderness, far away from the path on which God has set our feet. Sin has no hold on us.
During my fast this year the Holy Spirit revealed so much to me about my heritage. He helped me to see that when I’m tempted to feel compassion for my flesh, unbelief, and the pull to connect to God through works instead of through grace, that somewhere in my spiritual makeup is the power to say NO.
I am not called to make sure my flesh and my spirit live peaceably with one another. I’m not called to a life of comfort, temporary gratification or short-lived escapes from the world around me. I’m called to live a life of ruthlessly denying my flesh, so my spirit reigns the roost.
I want to experience more of the supernatural and less of reruns on Netflix. I want to experience more of the presence of God and less of the same-sounding top 40 songs. I want to experience more of the lasting comfort of God and less of the fleeting comfort of chocolate, caffeine, and long baths. I want to experience more joy and gratitude and less mood swings and complaining.
Whenever we send our flesh and unbelief away into the wilderness, our spiritual senses become more elevated. We can taste and see and hear and feel God all around, not because we’re working some formula, but because it’s part of our inheritance as sons and daughters of promise.
As you head into a new month and close out your time of fasting, continue to remind yourself that Father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had Father Abraham, and you are one of them. You’re the one who represents the gospel and the freedom that Christ set you free to walk in.
Don’t catch feels for your flesh, be like your spiritual momma, and stand up for your spirit!
For the last twenty-two years over 15 million people have taken Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages” official assessment to determine how they best receive love. And over the past twenty-two years, circles of girl friends have had great conversations as they share with one another what their primary love language is. It seems like any time I’m getting to know a new group of girls the question, “what is your love language” always comes up. We want to know, are you a words-of-affirmation person, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, or is receiving gifts at the top of your profile. We also want to make sure everyone knows what our top language is—one, because, it’s human nature to like to talk about yourself, right? Or is that just me? And two, because if we are building a friendship, we feel it’s important for our new friend to know how they can make us the happiest.
I love the five simple categories Dr. Chapman established in the book, and I believe the assessment is a very beneficial test in the way it helps us to understand how God created us to best relate to others, but after a great, in-depth talk with my friend Courtney, whom you’ll get to hear from in a bit, she helped me see how sometimes we use our love languages to create unhealthy expectations in our marriages and in our friendships.
It’s empowering to find out the way you best receive love is through words of affirmation. It’s as if someone has given you a key to help unlock the thing for which you hunger. Naturally, you fill your friends in, and once they know, you expect them to never forget this important piece of information about you. But naturally, they will. They won’t always love you the way you most want to be loved. They may forget to compliment the article you wrote and shared on your blog. They may forget to commend you for being a great mom on Mother’s Day. They may sign your birthday card “happy birthday” when you were expecting a paragraph about how much you mean to them. And after enough run-ins with a friend who continually lets us down by not speaking our love language, we start to harbor bitterness toward them. And we start to feel unloved and unworthy. But as my very wise friend Courtney says, friendship was never designed to measure our worth it was designed to enrich our lives. When you are looking to your friends to fill your love cup, you’ll always be disappointed.
The good news is, the God we serve is love, and He not only created us to receive love uniquely, but He also speaks all five love languages fluently. His love will never disappoint us. So what if, instead of going through life hoping that our spouse and our friends make us feel loved, we purpose to connect with God daily and allow Him to minister to us via our love languages. I truly believe that if we seek God’s love first, we will find it, and it will surpass all our expectations in a way that enables us to take the pressure off of our earthly relationships.
Am I saying we don’t needs friends? No way! God has called us to be in relationship with one another. We need friends to build us up and spur us on, and we need to have friends that we are building up and spurring on. But, we have to realize our friends can’t meet all of our needs according to their riches in glory and vice versa. We look to God first, and in Him we find the ultimate friend: one that sticks closer than a brother and knows us better than we know ourselves.
I have asked a few of my friends, who also happen to be HIS small group leaders, to help me write about our top love languages and the different ways we experience God’s love for us as it relates to our primary language. Our prayer is that you will begin to identify the unique ways that God wants to love on you and be more aware than ever that although His love is vast, He knows how to customize it just for you.
Acts Of Service – Sarah Blount
I have always appreciated when someone goes the extra mile. I love when my husband makes the bed and helps me around the house. I really appreciate when a co-worker offers to take something off of my very full plate. And I might burst into a dance party if one of my kids carried in the groceries without having to be asked. Because I carry so much responsibility, I feel loved when others jump in to help lighten the load. But of course, people have let me down in this area and of course, I’ve been harder on them than I should have been because I was looking to them to come to my rescue when I’m in over my head, instead of looking to God.
Psalm 55:22 Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.
How often are we waiting for someone to help us carry our burdens, when God is standing in front of us with His arms ready to receive, asking, how can I help. Those are the most romantic four words an acts-of-service person could ever hear, and Jesus is constantly whispering them to our spirits. But we often miss His still small offer to help because we are too busy looking for someone else to cast our cares upon. God has pledged to carry your sin and shame, your anxiety, the burdens that are weighing you down, and get this because it’s SO good, He’s pledged to carry you!
Isaiah 46:4 I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you!
Acts-of-service girls, let our Servant King sweep you off your feet on the daily.
Words Of Affirmation – Colie Hanson
For me words of affirmation bring clarity. They let me know that I hit the mark or am on the right track, and without them there is less certainty. Words give me permission to go deeper as well as to know my place in someone’s life or in an organization/team. To have my husband praise all the extras I have done that day or to have a friend to relay that I am indeed someone they enjoy getting to know is life giving. These things are deposits into my emotional bank account, but are they where my hope is found?
1 Corinthians 2:11 For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? So also no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. (Amplified)
Finding out that I not only have the Word of God but direct access to the thoughts of God as well, through the Holy Spirit, changed my life (and switched my hope focus). At any moment in my day, I can ask God what He thinks of me and the wins that I have had. At the same time, I can just as easily hear how He sees me and my situation when I am broken or worn down. Coupling hearing God through His Word and hearing Him directly for ourselves is like putting on glasses for the first time after years of trying to see through blurry eyes.
Physical Touch – Ashley Bassoppo-Moyo
It wasn’t until I lived overseas in a house full of strangers that I realized how important being hugged is to me. I grew up with my dad giving me these long hugs, telling me how proud he was of me, on just about a daily basis. The year and a half I lived with these strangers, they became like family, but they didn’t speak this language that I had been so accustomed to over the course of my childhood and thus I often felt unloved. It was during this season that I realized that to have this deep longing for intimacy fulfilled, I needed to seek this from my God.
Physical touch people can get labeled as being “touchy feely,” but in this common label I believe we catch a glimpse of the heart of God. See, God is the perfect model of the Loving Father I had come to experience in those hugs from my dad. Those were good, pure, intimate moments of closeness, and I believe God wants every one of us to experience good, pure, intimate moments of closeness when He simply lets us know how much He loves us. He wants to touch our hearts and fill us with feelings of intimacy.
Song of Solomon 6:3 I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.
There is something very key that must take place to live in the fullness of this intimate relationship with God. Just as in a romantic relationship, we must put our walls down and accept the overwhelming love of God. Sometimes, however, pride can take the form of self-denial. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable at the idea of God lavishing His love on you and connecting with God on the basis of His overwhelming love for you, you are denying Him the very thing you would never withhold from someone as close as a spouse or a child.
Allow God to love you and be the One you look to for intimacy and pure moments of love. He will not deny you, and as you pursue Him, He will pursue you back (Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8), and you will find something so much more filling than any human relationship could ever be. Allow yourself to receive and pursue that love in God every day!
Gifts – Andrea Tompkins
I’ve always felt that having gifts as a top love language was such a selfish trait to hold. Who wants to admit, I feel loved when you give me things? But, after glimpsing into God’s heart a little further, I’m convinced it’s His number one love language as well. I so enjoy the sweet way He continually affirms, then reaffirms just how much He loves us with the gifts He’s given us in scripture. From the first gift of a companion to Adam in Genesis 2 to Jesus’ promises of parting gifts riddled throughout the New Testament: the gift of a Helper in John 14:16 and the gift of peace in John 14:27 to name a few. God’s Word is chock full of how much He shows His vast love for us, through His giving of gifts. If our aim here is to experience love and fulfillment through Him then we need to RECEIVE that GIFT of love from Him first before looking to people to fulfill that need.
Jeremiah 31:3 I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!
What a sweet promise; no matter our temperament yesterday, today or tomorrow, no matter how we look, or what we’ve done or haven’t done for Him, even if we haven’t expressed our love to Him lately or sought to fill His love tank, we can still only, “expect love, love, and more love” from Him. He still offers that gift up to us daily. And since God is Love, then I imagine His gift of love to us is top notch and comes wrapped in the prettiest paper, adorned with the biggest bow and hand delivered straight to our heart. So let’s dive in, unwrap that gift, and soak in His sweet love for us today.
Quality Time – Courtney Haggard
Let’s get coffee: the three magical words all of us quality time ladies really want to hear. Seriously though, meaningful one-on-one time with a good friend can be so life giving–and because we gain so much fulfillment from these encounters, we crave them. Maybe you’re like me, and you can have an incredible time with a friend, only to feel emptied just days later. I can spend hours with a bestie on Monday, and feel like I don’t see that person enough by Thursday. I can’t help it; my cup constantly desires to be filled by time with others. If I am not careful though, I can slip into a habit of placing too much unhealthy responsibility on the relationships in my life, specifically friendships. Friendships are not designed to fill our cups; they are designed as a gift to enrich our lives.
If your quality-time bucket is feeling empty, my question to you is simple: what does your relationship with the Lord look like, and how often do you pursue one-on-one time with Him? As a quality time gal, you are naturally inclined to feel loved through a relationship, and connection with Jesus is the only thing that has the power to actually fulfill you!
Psalm 107:9 For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.
The good news is, God is a quality time expert! He is always available. He is never too tired or busy. His schedule is always a perfect fit for yours. When we seek the Lord in a fulfilling relationship, we can kiss misfiring friendships goodbye. Gone are the days of feeling left out, forgotten, or empty. We can wake up each day in the overwhelming goodness of fulfillment and joy.
Psalm 16:11 In your presence, there is fullness of joy.
As you can see, God wants to meet you right where you are at and minister love to you in the exact, perfect way that you’ll best receive it, so give Him a chance FIRST, before placing impossible expectations on your friends and family.
For a free small group study guide to go along with this devotional, click here.
The American Hospital Association recommends healthcare providers use the following terminology when describing the condition of a patient. Undetermined: The patient hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Stable: The patient’s vital signs are normal, and even though they might be in pain, recovery is favorable. Serious: The patient is very ill, and vital signs may be unstable. Critical: The patient has unstable vitals that are not normal, and could be unconscious. Indicators for recovery are unfavorable.
No one ever wants to hear that a loved one is in critical condition. Those two words carry an awful amount of weight with them. Weight that sends you to your knees, begging God to intercede–to do something–to miraculously change the condition of the person whose life in on the line.
We live in a day and age where we have been conditioned to be critical, and because of this, there are far too many Christians walking around with spiritual condition health charts stamped: critical. Their vitals are not normal. They aren’t showing signs of joy, freedom, peace, and victory like they should be. Many of them are completely unconscious, painfully unaware that they suck life out of people with their steady stream of negativity. And unless things drastically improve, a full recovery is not looking good.
The old adage, “everyone’s a critic,” is truer today than it’s ever been. With just a few taps here and a few clicks there, we can let everyone know what we think about the new restaurant in town or the movie we saw over the weekend. We no longer need Siskel and Ebert’s thumbs; thanks to Facebook we’ve got millions of thumbs to communicate what we do or don’t like. There’s a whole entertainment industry built around judges who get paid millions to sit back and criticize performers. Hear me, I am a huge fan of apps like Rotten Tomatoes and Yelp. I’m an avid Facebook user, and I watch reality TV talent shows too, but if we aren’t careful, the judgmental nature of the culture in which we live can affect our view finder, causing us to focus on the worst instead of the best.
I’ll be the first to admit, I struggle with this. Sunday mornings are game day for me. My husband and I pastor a two-year-old church plant. We’ve put our heart and soul into this thing. It’s not just a hobby or something we do for fun, it’s our family’s mission. Every week we have amazing church services. There are people everywhere, worship is so good it makes you want to literally never stop singing, we have the best volunteers in the world, ministry is happening on every level. But even among all the good, my critical eye can spot something that could be better and sometimes instead of going home praising God for all He did, I find myself consumed with the one thing that wasn’t perfectly executed.
If you are like me, I want you to know that being able to spot things that could be better is not a bad thing. It’s actually a really great gift God has placed in you, and if stewarded well can be used to improve your sphere of influence. But, if the bad is all you seem to focus on, you will lose your ability to enjoy life, and that doesn’t sit well with the One who came so that you might have AND ENJOY life.
I have known a few professional fault finders in my day. They don’t get paid in cash to look for shortcomings in every person or situation they have ever encountered, instead, they get paid with the temporary gratification of feeling a little bit better about themselves when they criticize others. They tirelessly read into everyone’s every word and endlessly examine everything with intent to find dirt so that it makes them appear a little shinier.
I have also known some people who aren’t negative toward others, but they’ll be the first and fastest to point out their own flaws. They don’t want to give anyone else a chance to criticize them, so in an effort to protect their heart, they criticize themselves.
Neither of those kinds of people could be described as joyful because when we spend our days criticizing ourselves and others, or focusing solely on the negative, we negate the cross. We make null the above-and-beyond life that Jesus wants for us here on earth, as it will be in heaven.
So how do we overcome? How do we condition our hearts to see and celebrate God’s goodness instead of being negative?
First, we have to recognize that having a critical spirit is a critical situation. We have to see that it’s hurtful to God, ourselves, and others, and we must earnestly desire change.
You are probably familiar with Luke 6:37, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.” But let’s look at in The Message paraphrase:
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier.
This isn’t a suggestion. It’s a command from Jesus Himself. Don’t criticize people. Don’t dig for dirt, dig for gold. Don’t waste your time judging every human’s words, actions, or motives, unless you want your every word, action, and motive to be judged.
In Matthew 14, Mary pours out a very expensive jar of perfume over Jesus’ head, and the disciples jumped all over her.
Matthew 14:8-9 But when His disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this fragrant oil might have been sold for much and given to the poor.”
I love Jesus’ response in verse 10, “Why criticize this woman for doing such a good thing to me?”
Maybe the disciples criticized Mary because they were jealous. I’m sure the fact that she was able to bless Jesus with such an extravagant gift and they couldn’t made them feel like they were in competition with her. If you find yourself criticizing others, there may be some jealousy issues that need dealt with. Or maybe they genuinely thought she was being wasteful. So what if they did. It was not their place to judge her intentions, and Jesus wasn’t about to let them slide. This is a serious issue to Him, and it should be to us as well.
Secondly, we have to repent.
Repenting is more than saying you’re sorry or asking God to forgive you. True repentance is when you realize that what you are doing is sin, and then you turn away from it. It’s proving that you’ve had a change of heart.
Matthew 3:8 So produce fruit that is consistent with repentance [demonstrating new behavior that proves a change of heart, and a conscious decision to turn away from sin].
How are you going to demonstrate that your critical condition has changed? What’s your plan for producing fruit that is consistent with a repentant heart? If we don’t have a plan in place, I’m afraid we’ll fall right back into our negative ways. Your plan may look different from the plan of the person sitting next to you, but here’s one thing both plans must have in place: allow your Creator to create again.
Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
If your heart is full of negative thoughts toward yourself, others, or just life in general, then it’s going to be difficult keeping criticism from coming out of your mouth every time you open it.
So how do you change what’s in your heart? There are several typical Christian devotional answers that apply here. Read your Bible more, pray more, fast more, go to church more, serve more, give more, more, more, more and while more of these things are always a great idea, I believe in order to overcome a critical spirit, we need more than more, we need new.
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right and steadfast spirit within me.
Create and Renew. We need to ask God, like David did, to create in us a new heart that would be, “firm in the purposes of virtue; that would not yield to temptation; that would carry out holy resolutions; that would be steadfast in the service of God” (Barnes 88). We need to ask God to renew a right spirit in us, because even though we are new creations in Christ, wrong spirits still like to hang around.
You can’t change on your own. You can’t, in your own strength, go from a glass-half-empty person to a glass-half-full person. You can’t go from always seeing flaws to always noticing God’s goodness. You can’t create a new heart for yourself. But thankfully, you have a connection. The Connection! You can walk boldly into the throne room and ask Him to create in you a clean heart and to renew a right spirit inside you, and what you thought might take weeks, months, or even a lifetime to overcome, He will change in a moment. Instead of reading and praying to try to run off negativity, you’ll be reading and praying because your clean heart desires to be full of His Word and your right Spirit desires constant communion with Him.
Let’s not be okay with a chart that reads critical. Instead, let God take the places of our hearts that have been tarnished by negativity and allow Him to make them new again. Let’s get our joy, peace, freedom, and victory levels steady again so we can be living testimonies of his goodness.
For a free small group study guide to go along with this article, click here.
Barnes, Albert. Notes, Critical, Explanatory, and Practical, on the Book of Psalms. Vol. 2, Harper, 1869
Four years ago, I wrote a blog about sending my firstborn off to public school. It is by far the most-read blog I’ve ever published. This tells me there are a lot of Christian mommas out there who go through what I went through.
I was nervous and fearful, and I wished I could afford Christian school, until God showed me something remarkable in Jochebed, the mother of Moses.
She spent three months hiding her baby to save him from being murdered, and when he was too big to continue to hide, she placed him in a basket and sent him floating down a river.
You’d think that during that time she would have been nervous, fearful, and wishing her boy would have been a girl, but she wasn’t.
Hebrews 11:23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command.
Jochebed was not full of fear and regret, wishing that things could have been different. No, she was full of faith!
As a Christian mom sending my child to public school, I felt a little like I was putting him in a basket in the Nile River. I had to choose: fear or faith?
Jochebed inspired me to choose faith.
When I dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten four years ago, I didn’t shed a tear. I believed that like Psalm 127 says, he was an arrow–an arrow we had spent five years sharpening, an arrow that would go out and fulfill His purpose.
Next week, that kindergartener I dropped off in faith will start third grade, and his little sister will start first grade, and I’ve found myself thinking about Moses and Jochebed again, and how thankful I am that my kids are in the public school system.
Most people would agree that the purpose of sending our children to school is so they can receive an education. We want them to learn how to read, write, and do arithmetic. Bonus points if they learn how to successfully climb a rope, make some friends, and win a class party for collecting the most box tops. But what if our kids have a higher purpose? What if school is more than test scores and learning how to multiply fractions?
Back to Jochebed. She is ultimate #momgoals. She not only had amazing trust and faith in God, but she saw purpose in her kids, from the moment she laid eyes on them.
Hebrews 2:2 The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months.
Jochebed saw that Moses was a special baby. Other translations say she saw that he was a beautiful baby, but it’s referring to more than the fact that he was a pretty newborn. When she looked at Moses she saw God’s favor on him and knew that she had to save his life because God wanted to use him mightily.
When you look at your kids, what do you see? Do you see purpose in them? Do you realize that the favor of God rests on them and that God wants to use them in mighty ways, just as He did Moses?
Your kids are here for a reason, just like you are here for a reason, and if they attend a public school, they have an amazing opportunity in front of them to start walking in their purpose.
God gave me three words to charge my kids with for the upcoming year. Three words to help fill them with purpose. Three words to send them out on mission each and every day as they hop out of my car and into the halls of their school.
Salt. Light. Love.
Matthew 5:13 Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth.
Our kids need to know why they are here, and as parents, it’s our job to tell them. They are here to be salt!
Salt brings out flavor in food, and it also helps preserve it.
Our kids should start every day thinking about how they have the ability, through their words and actions, to give people a taste of the goodness of God. They get to be like the sample servers at Sam’s Club giving out little treats of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And as their friends, teachers, and even their enemies get a taste, they fulfill their purpose and people will be drawn to Jesus.
Our kids need to realize if they stay salty they help prevent God’s standards from rotting away. If every Christian parent kept their kids out of public school there would be no students on a mission to preserve the truth. It’s important for our children to recognize that without Christ followers like them, standing for what’s right and living according to the Word of God, God’s presence in their schools will decay.
Matthew 5:14 Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine!
The public school system needs light. It needs more kids who love Jesus and are 100 percent cool with going public with that information. People are living in darkness. Families are a mess. Suicide is the number one injury death in America. There’s so much confusion about gender identity. And on and on. People are looking for answers, and if we stay hidden away in our homes and in our Christian circles, they are going to have a hard time finding those answers. My son has seen two of his friends from school give their lives to Christ this year, and one of those friend’s entire family give their lives to Christ, because he’s decided to be like a city on a hill when it comes to his love for Jesus. God’s made our kids to be light, we have to let them shine!
I Corinthians 13:1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
The only chance our kids have at being the salt of the earth and the light of the world is if they love others. In other words, they cannot fulfill their purpose without love.
Sometimes we confuse being salt and light with being snarky and judgmental. I went to public school, and I remember the Christian kids who looked down on everyone. It was obvious they thought they were better and more holy than everyone else. They never made an impact on anyone because it’s God’s kindness that leads men to repentance.
Our kids must understand that their purpose is to love with a love that cares more for others than for themselves, a love that fights for the bottom, a love that isn’t jealous, a love that isn’t prideful, a love that is slow to anger, a love that believes the best, a love that doesn’t give up on people.
Because Moses had a mother who was full of faith and saw purpose in her children, an entire nation got to taste the goodness of God. They were preserved from extinction and miraculously brought out of darkness.
My goodness. What would our schools look like if every classroom had a handful of kids who understood their God-given purpose and were being encouraged to walk in it daily?
We do so much to ensure our kids are ready to go back to school: new shoes, new backpacks and lunchboxes, fresh haircuts, killer first-day-of-school outfits, tax-free school supply shopping, and meet the teacher. That’s all well and good, but let’s be most focused on getting them ready by filling their hearts and minds with their God-given purposes. Let’s make sure they know school is more than AR tests and recess. School is where they get to live out the gospel and experience true joy and fulfillment as they do what they were put on the earth to do!
Let’s let loose our little Moseses and watch God move mightily in and through them, Amen?
Morning Declaration For Your Kids:
I am here for a reason. God has a purpose for me.
I am the salt of the earth.
Wherever I go, I help people taste and see that the Lord is good.
I am called to make sure God’s way of doing things doesn’t pass away.
I am the light of the world.
People see Jesus in me. I won’t keep God a secret.
I will bring light to the darkness around me.
Love is my goal.
I know I can’t lead anyone to Jesus without His love working through me.
God’s love never gives up and cares more for others than for self.
Love is not jealous or cocky.
Love fights for the bottom and is not “me first.”
Love is slow to anger and doesn’t keep score when people mess up.
Love doesn’t rejoice when others are hurting.
Love trusts God always.
Love doesn’t look back and believes the best.
Today I will be Salt, Light, and Love.
Effective ministry happens when people are real. So allow me to be completely honest: I don’t know very much about boxing. What I do know is based on Rocky (one of my favorite movies ever, believe it or not), Million Dollar Baby (ugly, ugly, ugly cried when I saw that in the theater), and of course Billy Blanks. Tae Bo, anyone? But a few days ago, as I sat on an airplane and asked the Holy Spirit to show me what to write for our next HIS small group curriculum, I remembered something I heard the wonderful, amazing, anointed Priscilla Shirer say a few years ago that has since been repeated somewhere close to a billion times by pastors and teachers everywhere.
She said, “We are not fighting FOR a victory, we are fighting FROM a victory!” Everyone cheered and amen’d and tweeted. Rightly so. It’s a powerful statement. A true statement. A gospel statement. But right after I remembered that phrase, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Fighting FROM a victory only works IF you are fighting, and many of my girls aren’t fighting!”
Ephesians 6:12 tells us that we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but WE ARE FIGHTING against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Satan would love for us to go through our days unaware of the spiritual warfare taking place in our lives. He would love for us to ignore, excuse, or comply with the battles he sends our way, and sadly, that’s often what we do.
I am slightly obsessed with Hillsong United’s Wonder album, especially the track, “Not Today.” It’s a perfect mixture of wake-up call and battle cry. Look at this beautifully-written bridge with me:
Your love stood down death
Crushed the devil’s head
Fear is just a liar running out of breath
The fight beneath Your feet
I’m standing on Jesus’ Name
So let the devil know not today
Let the devil know not today
Not now not ever again
Jesus, let the devil know not today
The wake-up call comes from the reminder that Jesus stood down death and crushed the devil’s head and that fear is just a liar running out of breath! (Insert all the praise-hands emojis here!) The battle cry is found in the words, NOT TODAY.
When Satan calls you into the boxing ring, do you throw in the towel, and say, have your way? Or do you put on your gloves, boldly step into the ring, and declare NOT TODAY.
Friends, we have got to stop letting the devil walk all over us. Jesus came too far and paid too great a price for us to be getting our clocks cleaned!
James 4:7 says, So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
The word resist comes from two Greek words: stand and against.
Now, like I said earlier I’m not a boxing expert, but I do know that a boxer’s stance is very important, and I studied several articles which backed this up. We see boxers throwing punches and assume that all of their power comes from their arm, but really the arm is only the final stage of the punch. A boxer’s power comes for the soles of their feet and is transmitted through their body and out of their fists. Footwork is also crucial to defense. Titleboxing.com said this about The Greatest, “To watch Ali’s feet carry him in and out of trouble was a thing of beauty. Even as a heavyweight, his grace of movement and lightness on his feet was an enormous part of his success. A small shuffle, a slight shift in weight, can mean the difference in an opponent’s landing a punch or missing it. Good footwork can dictate the pace of the fight and the distance that war is waged at” (Ward).
If we are going to be skilled, successful fighters, we have to pay attention to our feet. James says we are to STAND against or resist the devil.
How’s your footwork? Are you standing firm like James 4:7 talks about?
If you ARE NOT standing against the enemy then you ARE NOT resisting and if you ARE NOT resisting then you ARE consenting. When the enemy wars against you with fear, depression, anxiety, lies, discouragement, or any number of his strategies, and you don’t war back, it’s as if you are offering him mutual consent. Mutual consent is when all relevant parties agree to a proposal, contract, or transaction. It is often referred to as a “meeting of the minds.”
That sent shivers down my spine. This is serious, serious business. When we don’t resist the devil, we are engaged in a meeting of the minds with someone who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy our lives.
I’ve engaged in a meeting of the minds with the enemy many times. He’s come at me with thoughts about my husband that I didn’t stand against. Those thoughts did exactly what he designed for them to do: drive a wedge between me and my other half! He’s come at me with thoughts about friends that I didn’t stand against. He’s come at me with thoughts about me not being an adequate mom. He’s come at me with thoughts of fear, doubt, and lies to keep me from moving forward in faith. He’s come at me with thoughts of self-pity, and I’ve cuddled up to those thoughts like they were a warm blanket from Restoration Hardware.
We are not called to cuddle with the schemes of Satan. We are not called to identify with the lies he fires our way. We are not called to take a seat and get comfortable and allow his plans for us to unfold; we are called to stand firm and resist.
Hopefully, by now you get that we are to stand, but how? How do we stand? Ephesians 6:14-15, has us covered:
Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
The Armor of God: every Sunday School teacher’s favorite six-week lesson plan, but it’s more than just a fun lesson for kids. “Each aspect of this symbolic armor answers to a specific dynamic within the Christian life that enables us to stand against spiritual attack” (Guzik).
Allow me to skip over the symbolism and get straight to the specific dynamics that enable us to stand:
- The truth of God’s Word must hold our world together.
- We must view ourselves through the lens of the completed work of the cross and see ourselves how God sees us.
- We must have steady minds, free from fear and full of peace which comes from believing that God loves us and cares for us.
- We must be hearers and doers of God’s Word so that we are full of the kind of faith that not only blocks the attacks of Satan, but sends them back where they came from.
- We must have hope, convinced that even in the darkest of situations, our God saves.
- We must know how to wield the active, powerful and effective Word of God.**
The Big Six: Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Faith, Salvation, and God’s Word.
Did you know that there are only six types of punches in boxing? That doesn’t seem like very many punches to step into a ring with, but with those six punches a fighter can deliver more than a thousand combinations. Similar to the way a telephone has only ten digits available, but with different combinations of those digits we can create eight billion different phone numbers.
We have six pieces of armor, which may not seem like enough to stand against the schemes and strategies of the enemy, but with those six pieces of armor you can deliver thousands of combinations that will keep you standing and send the devil running.
Think about the endless possibilities you have as you combine those six pieces of armor!
Jab-Cross-Left hook. Faith-Peace-God’s Word.
Jab-Right uppercut-Left hook-Right hand. Faith-Righteousness-God’s Word-Truth.
Just like a boxer spends time training and learning all six punches, from the jab to the right hook, we need to spend time training and learning about the six pieces of armor, so we can confidently stand our ground and start putting together some total-knockout combinations.
Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. (Ephesians 6:13-18, MSG)
Fighting FROM a victory, only works if you are FIGHTING. God’s given you all you need to stand, to resist, and to fight, so stop letting the devil have his way and start declaring, NOT TODAY!
Click here to download a free small group discussion guide to go with this article.
“The walls of the heart are elastic, and desire expands them.”
That gets my vote for the most eye-opening sentence I’ve read this year.
A few weeks ago, I was on my back on my bedroom floor, trying to catch my breath after a dreaded cardio workout, and trying to hear from God. I knew I only had a few minutes until my kid’s internal roosters cock-a-doodle-do’d and sent them down the long hall way from their bedrooms to mine. I held my phone in the air above my face while I read through a familiar chapter in Romans. A certain verse seemed to stand out from the rest. I swiped over to a commentary and that’s when I read those eye-opening words, “The walls of the heart are elastic, and desire expands them.” That got me off my back. I sat up, and the Holy Spirit started to unpack mountains of truth in the blink of an eye. His message was loud and clear:
Expand Your heart, daughter. Desire more.
The Holy Spirit is an extravagant gift giver. The focus of I Corinthians 12 is all about spiritual gifts. The word of wisdom, the word of knowledge, faith, the gifts of healing, the working of miracles, prophecy, discerning of spirits, tongues, and the interpretation of tongues.
Each of these gifts has a two-fold purpose–one: to glorify Jesus, and two: to strengthen and encourage other people.
We are told more than once in scripture to earnestly desire these gifts. In the words of Dwight K. Schrute, “Question…” How are you doing with that? Be completely honest with yourself. When was the last time you were craving, desiring, or aching to unwrap one of those gifts?
Some do not desire the gifts of the Spirit because they simply don’t understand them or have never heard that they should desire them. Maybe you’ve assumed these gifts are reserved for special people on a ministry staff. Others don’t desire the gifts because of selfishness. Most Christians spend more time working on a better “me” instead of looking to build others up.
Think about the purpose of the gifts again: to glorify Jesus and to strengthen and encourage other people. These gifts have little to do with the one who is told to desire them and much to do with others. I wonder if we would crave spiritual gifts in a greater way if they were for our personal gain. #ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm
The call of this devotional is to expand the walls of our hearts with a desire for spiritual gifts, because when we make room in our elastic-lined hearts for the gifts of the Spirit, we will begin to operate in them. Our actions will begin to glorify Jesus and encourage others.
Let’s quickly look at each of the gifts mentioned in I Corinthians 12 in order to create a deeper hunger in ourselves for them.
● Gift of Wisdom: The Holy Spirit working through us so we can hear and speak wise counsel, especially in an important situation.
● Gift of Knowledge: The unique ability to share knowledge that could only be revealed supernaturally and to know what is true.
● Gift of Faith: The ability to fully trust God in any situation.
● Gift of Healing: The Spirit working through us to pray for the sick and see them healed.
● Miraculous Powers: The Holy Spirit working through us to “override” the laws of nature and divinely intervene in situations.
● Gift of Prophecy: The Holy Spirit working through us to build up, encourage, comfort, and strengthen others in a naturally supernatural way.
● Distinguishing Between the Spirits: The Holy Spirit working through us to recognize what is influencing people and to decipher what is of the Spirit and what is not.
● Gift of Tongues: A personal language of prayer given by God, so a believer can communicate with Him beyond the limits of their own knowledge and understanding.
● Gift of Interpretation: Allows tongues to benefit those, other than the one speaking in tongues, by interpreting the heavenly language into an earthly language.
Now, some of you may already be wondering which gifts you have or you’re trying to decide which gifts you want. I know they are in list form, but don’t look at this list like a sandwich bag at Which Wich where you get to decide which gifts sound good to you. That’s the Holy Spirit’s call. More important than knowing the name of the gift that’s at work through you, or choosing the one which suits you best, is the desire to be used by God however He sees fit.
Make your prayer be, “Lord I want to bring glory to Jesus today, and I want to strengthen and encourage others.” Let your desire for the gifts grow and expand the walls of your heart, and as you do that, you can expect that God will give you the desires of your heart. He will begin to use you, and you’ll begin to discover, pinpoint, and appreciate the gifts in operation in your life.
One gift we are told to especially desire is the gift of prophecy (I Corinthians 14:1). Let’s make that our focus this month.
Prophecy is simply allowing the Holy Spirit to work through us to build up, encourage, comfort, and strengthen others in a naturally supernatural way.
That’s one of my favorite phrases ever: naturally supernatural.
We often see the Holy Spirit as spooky, but He’s not. He wants to work supernaturally through what’s natural to you.
If it’s natural for you to text a friend, the Holy Spirit can supernaturally work through a text message. I get supernatural texts quite often. This morning a friend texted me to let me know she was praying for me and that God wanted me to know I was covered and loved. I had no idea, and my friend had no idea, that my afternoon would bring some very stressful things my way. The words in that text came back to my heart and comforted me. The Holy Spirit prophesied to me, through her, via text.
Ladies, let’s desire the gifts. Let’s desire to glorify Jesus and encourage and strengthen others: our spouses, children, friends, our small group, co-workers, people we serve with at church, whoever the Lord brings to our attention. Let’s not make this a “part” of our everyday lives, segregated and compartmentalized, rather, let this be who we are: glorying Jesus and encouraging others.
For a free small group study guide to go along with this article click here.
On Sunday, we’ll celebrate Easter and the fact that our Savior conquered the grave, is alive and seated in Heaven, bridging the gap between our Father and us. But there’s no Easter if there’s no Good Friday, and I suppose that’s why such a dark day can be called good.
On the original Good Friday, Jesus shared a very vulnerable moment with His closest friends in the Garden of Gethsemane. He told them His soul was crushed with grief to the point of death and asked them to keep watch as He went a little deeper into the garden to get on His knees and seek His Father’s face.
The amount of pressure Jesus was facing that night is something we can’t fully wrap our minds around. The cross was near. He knew that very soon He would have to submit Himself to the punishment of sin. He would have to taste death for all mankind. The loneliness of the grave and the horror of hell surrounded Him and pressed Him on every side. It was not well with His soul. His soul was crushed with grief, His heart ready to break.
Luke’s gospel tells us that as Jesus was in agony, and earnestly praying, His sweat turned into great drops of blood falling upon the ground. I’m sure as the weight of the world quite literally pressed in on Him, it was even hard to breathe.
Gethsemane, the garden where Jesus experienced this tremendous pressing, means the place where olive oil is pressed. Olive oil was a hot commodity, used primarily for keeping lamps fueled. If I need some olive oil, I just head to Target, rarely, if ever, stopping to think about the process of how the oil came to be, but there is a process. It’s changed since Jesus walked the earth. In His day, olives were gathered in rough sacks and stacked on top of one another. A beam was lowered onto the stack and increasing weight was added to the end of the beam to press oil from the olives. The more pressure, the more oil would drip.
Gethsemane had seen pressing before. It had seen olives burst under pressure and drip, but it had never seen a man pressed like this, pressed to the point of dripping blood, sweat, and tears.
There’s a beautiful picture in all of this I want you to see. Hebrews 1:9 tells us God anointed Jesus with the oil of gladness or the everlasting joy of the Holy Spirit. That night in the garden, as Jesus was pressed like an olive, the oil of gladness dripped from His brow. The more pressure, the more oil–and Jesus was under the greatest amount of pressure in the history of the world. His drip would turn into a pour. On the cross He would pour out His blood to wash away our sins and then He would pour out His Spirit, the oil that we need to keep our lamps burning until He returns or calls us home.
God has called you to be the light of the world. A lamp lighting the way for your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone else God brings across your path, but without that pure pressed oil of gladness, you can’t fulfill your purpose. You will not only lose your way, but you won’t be able to help anyone else find his or her way.
Proverbs 31:18 says of the virtuous woman, her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night. It burns on through trouble, privation, and sorrow.
If we are going to burn bright without burning out, we have to get a revelation of how much we need that oil of gladness, how much we need the Holy Spirit whom Jesus poured out for us.
Romans 12:11 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.
Notice the verse says, keep yourselves fueled and aflame. I can’t keep your lamp burning for you, and you can’t keep mine burning for me. So how do we keep ourselves running on the Oil of Gladness? We simply invite the Holy Spirit to come and fill our lives Every. Single. Day. We head to the garden, and we receive what has already been pressed out for us.
When you are tired of fighting, when you feel as though the demands placed on you exceed the resources available to you, when trouble, privation, and sorrow come your way, if your lamp is fueled by the oil of gladness, your lamp will not go out.
This weekend as we celebrate Easter and remember Good Friday, know that Jesus was pressed for you, and because He was full of The Spirit and anointed with Gladness that is what poured out of Him. As you receive that same anointing by grace through faith, as you fuel yourself with the Holy Spirit, when you find yourself pressed, realize the same will pour out of you.
I am the mom who cries when her babies get shots at the doctor’s office, and yeah, I’m also the mom who gets her kids vaccinated. (Insert shocked emoji face here!) I hope we can still be friends.
When my oldest son Gus was three, I took him to the dentist for a checkup and found out he had eight cavities. Yep, eight. I promise, I take good care of my children, I just had no idea that a preschooler was not ready to wield a toothbrush on his own. #FirstKidProbs. He took the brunt of all our first-time parenting faux pas, but by the grace of God he’s turning out just fine. And you’ll be happy to know my second and third child are filling free. When Gus went back to get his mouth filled with silver, I asked my husband to take off work for the appointment so I didn’t have to see my little buddy all gassed up for dental surgery. I would have been a blubbering mess.
I love the scene in the movie Storks where the little pink-haired baby starts to cry while Tulip, the woman in charge of delivering the pink-haired baby, tries to ignore her. The film cuts to a sequence of caring mommas throughout history protecting their babies all while REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You” plays in the background. It cuts back to Tulip whose maternal instincts kick in and she can’t take it anymore. She MUST comfort the crying pink-haired baby!
Mothers do not like to see their children in pain, physically or emotionally. It’s part of our genetic makeup! God could not watch as Jesus hung on the cross. He had to turn His face away.
Like the women in the Storks sequence who were literally shielding their babies, we do our best to shield our kids from anything that might cause their hearts to ache.
Last October I got a fun little surprise in the form of two pink lines. I was pregnant! We had just packed away the crib and decided to wait another three or four years for the final installment of Blount children, so I was shocked, but thrilled at the same time. I love being pregnant, and I love newborns, and I knew our kid’s excitement would be through the roof when we shared our news with them. I took two blood tests to confirm and the doctor said my levels looked great and that he would see me in nine weeks. I was already showing, and I knew I couldn’t wait nine more weeks to tell our friends and family, so about two weeks after we found out, I planned a big scavenger hunt that ended with a little video where we told the kids a new baby would be joining our family in June!
I have NEVER seen joy hit my kids like that before, and you should know they are very happy kids who have had a very happy, Disneyland-filled life. But this was something they had been asking for and praying for and thinking about for a while. Our oldest cried genuine tears of joy. Our middle jumped up and down and squealed for a good five minutes straight. And our youngest just kept hugging everyone because she knew we were all so happy. It’s a moment I’ll never forget even though I totally blew it and did not hit the record button on my phone to capture it all on video.
The new baby was all my kids could talk about. The papers they brought home from school had drawings and notes on the back of them about their new brother, since they had already decided it was going to be a boy. They had to say good morning and good night to my puffy tummy. And they prayed sincere prayers, asking God to help the baby grow big and strong and healthy.
Three days of celebrating came to an abrupt halt after I miscarried. As shocked as I was to find out I was pregnant, I was even more shocked to miscarry. My third pregnancy ended when I had to deliver our son stillborn, and after that I prayed and believed and trusted God that I would never lose another baby again. And I was convinced I wouldn’t. But I did.
Of course I was heartbroken over the loss of life, but the thing that hurt the most was knowing that I was going to have to tell my kids. There was no way around this. I would have to watch their hearts break.
I was so mad at myself. Why? Why didn’t I follow the pregnancy announcement protocol? Why didn’t I wait longer to tell the kids? I could have saved them. I could have shielded them. I could have kept them in their bubble.
I’ll never forget sitting in my kitchen the afternoon of the miscarriage, sorting out Bingo cards for a Halloween party at my kid’s school that I was in charge of hosting later that day, my eyes blurry from all the tears. I knew that in just a few short hours, after school was over, we were going to have to sit the kids down and let them know that life isn’t perfect. As I punched out Charlie Brown bingo markers and beat myself up for seemingly jumping the gun with the pregnancy announcement, the Holy Spirit came and does what the Holy Spirit was sent to do. He comforted me with these words, “You can’t always shield your kids from heartache, but you can show them how to overcome.”
In other words, what’s done is done. You can’t protect them from this one, but you can use this situation to help them see that the greater One lives in them, and because of that, they can find victory in the midst of a terrible loss.
After I painfully smiled my way through the class party and got the kid’s home from school, we sat them down in the living room and broke the news. They wept and moaned and cried for what felt like an eternity. Josh and I cried with them and held them and let them cry until they were ready to talk. They were so confused. How could this happen? Why did this happen? I didn’t feel equipped to answer those questions, because honestly I didn’t know how and why it happened, and I still don’t. It still doesn’t make sense. But in that moment we told them what we DID know: God is faithful, no matter what. God never leaves us nor forsakes us. God will heal our broken hearts. God will turn this sad story into a happy one.
We stayed in our living room for hours that night and talked about heaven and the hope we have in Jesus, and what I thought would be one of the worst nights of my life ended up being one of the best, because that night I got to see that my children’s faith in God was immovable, even in the midst of a storm. Their eight and five-year-old hearts held tightly to the promises of God. The Jesus they have always sung about and read about and talked about became even more real to them that October night.
John 16:33 says, “Here on earth we (me, you, my kids, your kids) will have many trials and sorrows.” But then it encourages us with this, “take heart, because Jesus has overcome the world.”
When our kids are faced with real-life challenges, our tendency is to shield them from as much pain as possible. We don’t want them to ever have to experience hurt feelings, rejection, not making a sports team, the death of someone they love, disappointment, or anything else that would cause their little hearts to hurt, but sometimes we shield them from too much and they grow up never getting a chance to fully lean on God.
Psalm 103 tells us to lean not on our own understanding, but to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. You can’t expect to ever stop leaning on your own understanding if you live in a world where everything makes sense, and I fear that’s the kind of world we try to create for our children.
But what if we let them face some challenges? What if we stop trying to shield them from every single thing and start giving them opportunities to put their trust in the Lord? I think we would raise the fiercest generation of sons and daughters the world has ever seen. A generation who knows how to get back up when they get knocked down. A generation whose faith in God is real, tested, and unshakable. A generation who knows where to turn when the wind and waves come. A generation full of sure-footed, steady-handed, battle-worthy conquerors.
The last thing my eight-year-old said to me that night as I tucked him into bed was, “Mom, this has been the saddest day of my life…but I will never stop trusting God.”
If there are no rough roads to walk, no mountains to climb, and no battles to fight, our children miss out on the God of John chapter 16, the God who has overcome the world.
Mommas, love, protect, and defend your children, but when the Spirit leads you to, lower that heavy shield so God can display His glory in the lives of your children.